Article

Weight loss and your relationship with food: why knowing isn't always enough

Have you ever wondered why losing weight can be so hard, even when you know perfectly well what you should do?

Maybe you've already tried several diets. You lost weight, got good results and thought that this time it would finally work.

But at some point the old habits came back. And maybe the weight came back with them.

That's when it's easy to think you just need to try harder.

But what if the problem isn't that you don't know enough?

What if you just haven't yet stopped to ask why you eat the way you do?

Good gig? Time to eat. Bad gig? Time to eat.

I've been performing for decades. The drives to gigs can be long, and I often get home late at night.

Back then those drives often included a stop at a fast-food place. Sometimes as late as eleven at night.

When I later started looking at my own eating habits, I noticed something rather funny.

If the gig had gone really well, I felt I had earned something good. So I stopped to eat.

And if the gig had gone badly?

Well, then I really needed something to cheer me up and comfort me. So I stopped to eat.

Good gig? A reward.

Bad gig? Comfort.

The same outcome from two completely opposite situations!

Keep doing that long enough and it becomes a habit you may not even notice.

Food had taken on plenty of jobs in my life besides nourishing my body.

Understanding that was one of the key insights in changing my own relationship with food.

What does a relationship with food actually mean?

A relationship with food can sound like an odd phrase.

We have relationships with people. But can you really have a relationship with food?

Let's think about it for a moment.

What happens when you've had a really hard day?

Or when you feel happy and want to reward yourself?

Or when you sit down in front of the TV in the evening and notice you feel like snacking on something?

For many of us, these moments come with some food or drink almost automatically.

We may have learned as children that a treat is a reward for doing well. Or that something sweet can ease a bad mood.

Over time these links can become so strong that we no longer even notice them.

A relationship with food is much more than what you eat. It is also why you eat, when you eat and what you expect food to give you.

And these are exactly the things worth exploring if you want a change that holds up in ordinary everyday life.

Do you reward yourself well or badly?

Let's go back to that fast-food stop on the drive home.

If I'd just done a great gig, why did I reward myself in a way that wasn't necessarily good for my body?

That raises a rather interesting thought.

Imagine you own a Ferrari.

You've just spent a great day at the race track. The car has performed brilliantly and you want to take good care of it.

Now it's time to change the engine oil.

What do you do?

Do you grab the cheapest frying fat from the supermarket and pour it into the engine?

Or do you choose an oil designed for that exact engine, one that helps it run at its best?

You probably wouldn't even consider the first option.

So why do we sometimes treat our own body so differently?

We only have one body and it is meant to serve us for our whole life.

Yet we can still feel we have earned, as a reward, something we know can make us feel worse.

I don't mean you shouldn't enjoy food. Quite the opposite!

But maybe it would be worth asking now and then what a good reward actually means.

Does any food really taste as good as good health feels?

One small experiment for your everyday life

If you want to start understanding your relationship with food better, try this.

Pick one situation where you notice yourself eating something almost automatically, again and again.

It could be an afternoon treat, evening snacking or that familiar reward after a long working day.

Next time the situation comes up, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

Why do I want to eat right now?

Don't rush to answer. And don't try to force yourself to change what you do.

Just be curious.

Sometimes simply noticing the reason behind what you do can be a meaningful first step.

Because a habit you don't even notice is pretty hard to change.

What if weight loss is worth looking at in a completely new way?

When I started to understand my own eating habits, I noticed how much I'd been focusing on the wrong questions.

I'd thought about what I should eat and what I should avoid.

But I'd thought far less about why I made the choices I made.

That shift in thinking was an important part of my own health change. And today it is one of the main things I want to help people understand in my coaching.

If weight loss has been on your mind for a long time, maybe the next step isn't yet another new diet.

Maybe it's worth questioning a few things we've got used to taking for granted first.

Maybe your next big insight isn't about what you should stop eating, but about something you haven't thought of yet.

Good gig? Time to eat. Bad gig? Time to eat.

What does a relationship with food actually mean?

Do you reward yourself well or badly?

One small experiment for your everyday life

What if weight loss is worth looking at in a completely new way?

Three weight-loss myths worth knowing about