What does this mean? How do I get through this? Will I be on medication for the rest of my life?
Then something happened that I hadn't expected.
At the diabetes nurse's appointment I heard that I wouldn't need to start any special diabetes diet. I could eat much as I had before and my blood sugar would be managed with medication if needed.
I was relieved.
I'd tried so many diets in my life that the last thing I wanted was one more.
Only later did I understand that the relief was a trap for me.
The relief that turned out to be a trap
I heard the advice as meaning I didn't really have to change anything.
I could carry on with my old habits. Keep stopping at McDonald's on the way to gigs and eat the way I was used to.
The medication would take care of the rest.
And that is pretty much what I did.
But there is an important difference here, one I only understood later.
The medication was not the problem. The problem was that I let the sense of security it gave me replace my interest in why I had ended up in this situation in the first place.
I didn't stop to look at my relationship with food. I didn't really even understand how much food could affect the way my body works.
And when nothing seemed to have to change right now, why would I have changed?
I carried on with my familiar life.
